April 26th, 2012 by Regina Brett

Mother's Day is around the bend. Now is the time to start collecting all the best memories and stories of everything your mom did to bless your life.

 

I shared my own blessings in my first book, "God Never Blinks." Lesson 45, The best is yet to come, tells the story of my mom's 75th birthday.

 

Ever since, readers have created similar ways to honor their parents. I just received this email from Donna in Canada:

 

"Inspired by your Lesson # 45 The Best is Yet to Come, I told my four siblings about your 75th birthday gift to your Mom and to yourself. We created a book to celebrate for our Mom to mark her 60 years as a Mom.

 

"Each page started with the words, 'Thank you for... '

 

"We thanked her for teaching magic words like please and thank you. And taking us to the park at the river for lunch. And using leftover pie dough to make pinwheels.

 

"We made the book in a small paperback format so she can keep it on her table where she knits or reads. Mom is now palliative with cancer, and after two years she still shows the book to her caregivers and anyone who comes by her chair at home. I think as her life with us is getting short --she had oxygen yesterday for the first time -- it feeds her heart and soul to see her 6 children and 12 grandchildren and all that life has become because Joe and Martha fell in love and never gave up.

 

"And through it all Mom has shown us that God never blinks. Over and over I've told people the story of your Mom's 75th birthday gift that inspired our gift. Thank you for sharing."

 

What a gift Donna gave her mom. It's one that blesses both the giver and the receiver. It touched my mom's heart, and it opened my eyes to see her with gratitude.

 

April 25th, 2012 by Regina Brett

I pulled into the parking lot at the Jesuit Retreat House last night and soaked up all the peace.

 

My talk and book signing was at 7 pm but I came early to enjoy the scent of the lilacs and gaze at my favorite dogwood in bloom. It's actually two trees that grow so close together their trunks touch and blossoms intertwine. It looks like one tree that has both pink and white flowers.

 

My peace nearly faded when a person told me the back tire on my car was getting low. Oh no. Was it a slow leak or a fast one? What should I do? The talk would end around 9 p.m. Should I call my husband or AAA? Before I could decide, a man walked over and said, "Looks like you need help."

 

Rick Burns, who owns Burns Auto, just happened to come to my talk and just happens to know how to fix anything that can go wrong on a car and just happened to have a tire air compressor in his trunk.

 

He filled the tire and we went inside.  After my talk, I found a note from him on my windshield. He had checked the tire before he left and said I was good to go.

 

I've written about Rick in my column. His auto shop is an oasis in Bay Village for people like Brian, who drove around on a broken-down adult trike until Rick came along and fired up the community to buy Brian a new one. Rick outfitted it with a canopy, horn, lights and flags.

 

I love the quote he keeps in his shop: Definition of Life: Life is not the number of breaths you take. Life is the number of moments that take your breath away.

 

Thanks, Rick, for giving me one of those moments.

April 18th, 2012 by Regina Brett

Every so often readers' lives run parallel to my own.

 

A woman just sent this email:

 

"Last night, I ran a hot bath, lit a candle, and started reading. I was not prepared for how I would feel when I got to Lesson 45, "The best is yet to come." Tears began to fall, and fall, and fall. I started to sob louder, so I ran the water, so nobody would hear. Then as I'm crying, water running, I think... Lesson 12.

 

"Well I finally got my composure after a while, and continued to read. I had a very close relationship with my Mother and lost her in 2005. As you talked about shopping, it reminded me of the last day I had like that with my Mother. I took her to a doctor appointment and bought some cherries on the way home.

 

"What I would do to have those days back... I am a happy, positive person, but have exhausted myself helping so many family members. I finally told myself that I need to take care of Me. I started reading the Bible and your book. I look at a lot of things differently now. The Bible and "God Never Blinks" have gotten me through some really rough times. Thank you for your words, your wisdom, your strength."

 

What a joy to read emails like that. They're also great reminders for me to keep my own life on track. I still have to make sure I don't get lost in my own life.

 

I hope the sticky note posted on my computer helps. It says, "Make room in your life for you!" 

 

 

April 13th, 2012 by Regina Brett

The first time I went on a retreat, it scared me.

 

I wasn't ready to get too spiritual. I mistook it for more of a spa-like weekend and packed a suitcase. Alas, there was no pool. Only an oasis of peace.

 

A friend drove me to the Jesuit Retreat House in Parma, Ohio, which sits on 50 plus acres of pure beauty. On the way there, we passed a taxidermy shop with a life-sized stuffed bear in the window looking ready to attack. Was that some sort of omen?

 

Then I'm greeted at the retreat house by a hunchback. I was ready to turn back. Good thing I didn't. The place, and that hunchback, changed my life forever.

 

Father Joe Zubricky inhabited a twisted, tortured body, but had the most beautiful soul. His eyes twinkled with love for all who walked in the door. He taught me religion shouldn't be an obstacle to God, just part of a lovely invitation. And if it isn't, discard it and go straight to God.

 

He taught me that the only thing that matters in this life is: Did you love?

 

I'm heading to the retreat house for the weekend. Joe is no longer there, but his spirit is everywhere. In the deer that run free, in the wind that blows kisses my way, in the bedrooms where we cry, in the lounge where we laugh, in the chapel where we pray and rediscover just how much we are all loved, as is. Always.

 

April 2nd, 2012 by Regina Brett

It shouldn’t hurt to be a child, but for too many kids, it does.

 

Abused and neglected children are everywhere. In the pew at church. On your son’s soccer team. In your daughter’s Girl Scout troop. In the house next door.

 

The child who suffers from abuse and neglect doesn’t always wear a sign or a bruise or a cast. Child abuse isn’t always announced by broken arms or black eyes.

 

But when you do see evidence of it, don’t look away. Child abuse thrives on silence. Children who are abused have no voice. We are their voice.

 

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. What difference can you make? Plenty if you do any one of these:

 

Educate yourself: Understand what abuse is, what neglect really is. Abuse isn’t just what leaves a bruise or broken bone. It’s the name calling and shaming and screaming rage that leaves scars on a soul, that can break a heart. It can be neglect, physical abuse, emotional abuse or sexual abuse.

 

Know the signs of child abuse: They include: Injuries, bruises, fear, depression, difficulty trusting others, having a hard time making friends, sudden changes in eating or sleeping patterns, inappropriate sexual behavior, keeping secrets, poor hygiene, aggressive behavior.

 

Report abuse: Consider yourself to be a mandated reporter. If you see a child being hurt, hear a child constantly crying or screaming next door, see evidence of abuse, or if a child tells you about abuse, report it to child protective services or to the police. Keep reporting it until the child is helped.

 

Know the emergency number to report child abuse.

 

Err on the side of the child: When in doubt, report it. When in doubt, believe the child. When in doubt, err on the side of protecting the child. You don’t have to be 100 percent sure it’s abuse or neglect. Leave that to the experts.

 

Listen: If a child tells you about abuse, listen, reassure and believe the child. Tell the child that telling you was the right thing to do.

 

Learn the difference between thoughtful discipline and harmful discipline:

If you’re angry or upset, wait to discipline your child. Give yourself a time out. Count to ten. Calm down. Reward the behavior you want. Know what triggers your own anger and out-of-control emotions and have a plan to respond instead of react.

 

Create a support network around you: Carry a 9-1-1 card of names to call in an emergency and post it on the fridge and in your smart phone. List people who can help babysit, run errands, or give you time when you need to de-stress.

 

Decide that the cycle of abuse and neglect stops with you: Some 30 percent of abused and neglected children will abuse their children. If you were abused or neglected as a child, get help. It’s never too late to get help for that wounded child that you still are. Find a counselor, a program and do whatever it takes to heal so you don’t end up hurting anyone else.

 

Tell your own children that you love them: Tell yourself that, too.

 

Help a stressed out parent: Babysit a child for a parent who needs a break, especially a single parent or a new parent.

 

Watch over the neighborhood: Spend time on your front porch or stoop. Be a presence and power for the children where you live. Throw a block party. Get to know your neighbors and their children.

 

Make sure children know they are not responsible for abuse.

 

Speak up: Courage is a muscle. Use it and it grows.

 

Every child is our child.

Imagine if we all acted like we believed that.

           

 

April 1st, 2012 by Regina Brett

Last week at a book signing, a woman came to the table and told me how hard it was to get a job

 

What kind of work are you looking for, I asked.

"Teaching. There aren't any jobs for teachers. I've looked everywhere," she said.

 

What is your dream job? I asked.

"Oh, I don't really want to teach," she said, and her eyes lit up. "I want to coach and edit writers."

 

It struck me that her life was telling her to follow that dream, one she might have to invent, versus going after a job she knew she didn't want.

 

Sometimes you don't get what you tell yourself you want because it isn't really what you want.

Sometimes the answer to what you want is right in front of you.

Sometimes our life tells us our life's work.

 

I thought of that after being interviewed by columnist Kristen Jordan Shamus who said my book changed her life. Kristen writes an uplifting column for the Detroit Free Press that sprinkles joy, love and laughter into the newspaper.

 

She loved the story I told her about the interpreter I met recently at a talk. When I asked the interpreter how she got into signing for the deaf and hearing impaired, she told me this story:

 

When she was 14, she worked in an ice cream shop. One day a man came in and held up a sign: one chocolate cone. It puzzled her, but she scooped him his cone.

 

He came in again and again, each time he held up the sign. She realized he was deaf.

 

So she got books on sign language. When he came in the next time, she signed the words: "How can I help you?"

 

The man was stunned. Then he left, without his cone, which stunned the girl.

 

He came back minutes later -- with a carload of deaf people. 

 

That man changed the girl's life. She's now a professor at Kent State University and teaches sign language.

 

Life gave her a sign.

Life gives all of us a sign.


What's yours?

 

 

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