May 31st, 2011 by Regina Brett

Reading the The Help made me see the world through different skin.

 

The novel by Kathryn Stockett tells the stories of black maids in the 60s living in Jackson, Mississippi. These women take orders, hold their tongues, swallow their bitterness and hug their love and hopes into the white babies they raise.

 

            The story isn’t black and white. “There is an undisguised hate for white women, there is inexplicable love,” Stockett writes.

 

            Her words touch the heart: “Faye Bell, palsied and gray-skinned, cannot remember her own age. Her stories unfold like soft linen.”

 

            Aibileen loves little Mae in ways her white mother can’t or won’t.

 

            “I look deep into her rich brown eyes and she look into mine. Law, she got old-soul eyes, like she done lived a thousand years. And I swear I see, down inside, the woman she gone grow up to be. A flash from the future. She is tall and straight. She is proud. She got a better haircut.

And she is remembering the words I put in her head. Remembering as a full-grown woman.

 

            And then she say it, just like I need her to. “You is kind,” she say. “You is smart. You is important.”

 

            “Oh, Law.” I hug her hot little body to me. I feel like she done just given me a gift. “Thank you, Baby Girl.”

 

            “You’re welcome,” she say, like I taught her to.”

 

            The movie version comes out in August. Check out the trailer. I hope them movie is as good as the book. If so, bring tissues.

 

 

May 26th, 2011 by Regina Brett

Oprah gave me one big surprise during her farewell show. I expected to cry my eyes out, but I didn't shed a tear. She used the final show to fortify us all to live the life we were called to live.

 

Oprah packed her last show full of wisdom from 25 years, 4,561 shows and 30,000 people she's talked to during her career.

 

Someone once said, if you had one chance to shout your truth from the rooftops, what would you say? That's what Oprah did for her last show. It's a show I will save and watch often.

 

Here's the essence of Oprah:

 

We are all called. Figure out what your calling is and get about the business of doing it. Your calling is what lights you up and let's you know exactly what you are supposed to be doing. What sparks the light in you so in your own way you can illuminate the world?

 

Let your life speak for you.

 

Forget fame. Aim for service.

 

Carry whatever you're supposed to be doing and carry it forward.

 

You are responsible for the energy you create.

 

You are not alone, no matter what you have been through or are going through, you are not alone.

 

Feel worthy enough to own the life you were created for. Too often we block our own blessings because we don't feel good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough. You are worthy because you were born.

 

Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?

 

She ended the show by saying she wouldn't say goodbye. "I'll say until we meet again. To God be the glory."

 

Thank you, Oprah, for helping us be our best selves.

 

 

 

 

May 20th, 2011 by Regina Brett

It's graduation time.

 

Hitch your wagon to a star. Walk to the beat of a different drummer. Wear sunscreen..

 

Grads will hear all kinds of advice on commencement day.

 

But how does one really find and fulfill their mission on earth?

 

The best tips I ever got was from the book What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard Bolles. After reading the book and doing all the exercises in it, I knew I wanted to be a writer.

 

The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren helped me recognize my S.H.A.P.E. He talks about knowing your Spiritual gifts, your unique set of abilities God gave you. Heart, the passion God gave you. The Abilities, the set of talents you alone have. Your Personality, the special way God wired you. And finally, your Experiences, all of them. The good, the bad, the ugly can be used to help others.

 

And Steven Covey's advice to start with the end in sight. At the end of it all, what do you want to have accomplished? What do you want said at your eulogy? If you could write a letter from your 90 year old self to your current self, what would you say?

 

I keep a quote by St. Francis of Assisi on my desk that reads:

 

"Keep a clear eye toward life's end. Do not forget your purpose and destiny as God's creature. What you are in His sight is what you are and nothing more.

 

"Do not let worldy cares and anxieties or the pressures of office blot out the divine life in you or the voice of God's Spirit guiding your great task of leading humanity to wholeness."

 

What a great mission we all have. To lead humanity to wholeness.

May 17th, 2011 by Regina Brett

Maria Shriver deserves a lot more than an apology.

 

Her husband, former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, just announced to the world that he fathered a child with someone who worked in their home. The woman retired after 20 years with his family. The child was born over ten years ago.

 

I feel for Maria. She recently lost her dad, mom and uncle, now her husband. It must feel like her world has imploded. What betrayal. What loss. How much can one person take?

 

A dear friend of mine was married 29 years when her husband had an affair. She did her best to love him and be patient and see if she could repair the marriage. He couldn't choose between her and the other woman.  It was the most painful betrayal of all, especially after raising three children together. My friend finally kicked him out.

 

She's never been happier. She's finally free.

 

I still wonder why her ex can't bring himself to apologize to her and their three children, to sit down and make real amends to them, to do everything possible to heal the hurt and right the wrongs. An affair requires more than an apology. It requires an amends. That involves an honest admission of wrong, a sincere apology and a willingness to repair whatever damage is repairable. 

 

I can understand how people can fall in love and cheat on their spouse, but I don't understand why they don't acknowledge the hurt and harm it does to others and try to fix it.

 

The child that Arnold fathered also deserves more than an anonymous support check in the mail. That child deserves to know his dad without any shame. The child did nothing wrong.

 

My friend and fellow columnist Connie Schultz wrote a piece for the New York Times about Maria Shriver. Connie is confident Maria will continue to write her own life script.

 

I hope Maria Shriver will experience this marriage breakdown as a breakthrough. She deserves better. I hope she gets to the freedom part, like my friend did, and her soul just soars.

May 13th, 2011 by Regina Brett

If you could walk away from your current job, what would you do instead?

 

Margaret Roach traded in the fast lane for a dirt road. She left the glamour of New York City and her job as editorial director of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and took up organic gardening. She writes "A Way to Garden" blog that inspires others to coexist with nature and live close to the earth.

 

As she describes it, "She went from She Who Lives in the World to She Who Lives in the Woods." She pulled her own rug out from under herself. She had to be still and listen to that voice within to forge a new path.

 

She's loving her new life. You can read about it in her book, "And I Shall Have Some Peace There: Trading in the fast lane for my own dirt road."

 

What would it mean to live as your authentic, true self? Find out.

 

Join us for a conversation on How to Reinvent Yourself on "The Regina Brett Show" this Wednesday at 7 p.m. on WKSU 89.7 FM. Margaret will be joining us and you can talk to her by calling 888-957-8897 or you can email her questions and comments at regina@wksu.org

 

As Mark Twain said, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

 

The boat leaves on Wednesday at 7.

May 7th, 2011 by Regina Brett

Children take your breath away and never give it back.

 

You breathe your very life into your children, they're formed by your own blood and food, your heartbeat and breath. The moment you deliver them into the world, you begin an endless series of letting go.

 

Step by step, breath by breath, you release a child into the world. Erma Bombeck compared it to letting out string on a kite, you release more and more string until one day, the kite soars on its own. Only then do you know that you did your job. 

 

In my Mother's Day column for The Plain Dealer, I share some of the journey I took with my daughter and see her take with her son. Watching her both hold on and let go of him is teaching me a new lesson:

 

What a mother keeps isn't what she holds on to; it's what she lets go.

May 3rd, 2011 by Regina Brett

How well do you know your mom?

 

Get to know the woman who healed your boo-boos with a kiss, sang you to sleep and scared away the monsters under the bed, the woman who brought you into this world and threatened to take you out if you didn't stop running with scissors, teasing your brother and staying out past curfew.

 

Do you know…

 

Which earrings are her favorite?

 

What her high school nickname was?

 

Her favorite movie?

 

Her biggest challenge in life?

 

Her biggest heartache?

 

How she met the man she married?

 

Can you name . . .

 

Her favorite song?

 

Her first pet's name?

 

The street she grew up on?

 

The perfume that is her trademark scent?

 

Her first crush?

 

The old flame that left a burning ember in her heart?

 

Her closest, dearest friend ever?

 

Her biggest pet peeve?

 

Which country she wants to visit most?

 

Her favorite recipe?

 

Her favorite restaurant?

 

Do you know . . .

 

The boldest thing she has ever undertaken?

 

Her middle name?

 

The worst trouble she ever got into as a child?

 

Who taught her to drive?

 

The best advice she ever got?

 

Her greatest regret?

 

Does she prefer . . .

 

Coffee or tea?

 

Cats curled up at her feet or dogs snoring by her bedside?

 

Diamonds or pearls?

 

Brooches or bracelets?

 

Dining out or home-cooked meals?

 

Do you know . . .

 

How old she was when she got her first kiss?

 

What she wants on her tombstone?

 

The most important line she wants in her obituary?

 

Her biggest fear?

 

The prayer she uses most often?

 

Her first job?

 

Her favorite TV show?

 

Her most prized possession?

 

Her favorite story?

 

Which dreams remain unfulfilled?

 

What she wants to be remembered for?

 

The results?

 

If you think you know your mother, compare your answers with hers. If they're close, chances are you're close, too.

 

If not, give your mom the greatest gift of all. Take time to get to know her.



 

 

 

 

May 2nd, 2011 by Regina Brett

The announcement took us by surprise. So did my reaction.

 

Osama Bin Laden had been killed by U.S. forces in Pakistan. The president never looked more presidential as he made the announcement last night on TV.

 

At first I felt elated. The man who masterminded the attack on our country and other countries around the world was dead. Hurray!

 

Then I felt a surge of patriotism. God bless the USA!

 

 But when I saw footage of youthful Americans dancing and cheering in the streets of New York City and Washington D.C., it didn't seem right.


A stillness came over me that hasn't left. 

 

I can't celebrate the death of any human being, no matter how heinous their crimes, no matter how many victims they murdered, no matter what destruction they leveled. I'm glad that we stopped this man from harming any more people, but I can't cheer his death.

 

What do we do? What is a respectful response to his death? What is the best way to remember all those who lost their lives in terrorist attacks and in this war on terrorism?

 

I think we're all called to pray for peace, that peace that surpasses all understanding.

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