June 30th, 2011 by Regina Brett
The moving van has come and gone. The dust bunnies have been swept away. The house remains a shell. The echoes inside will soon fade as new voices move in.
My daughter moved on Monday. She and her husband outgrew the cute arts and craft bungalow where they lived for 7 years. They have a 2-year-old and a baby due any day and needed a better floor plan to run after two children.
Talk about crazy, buying and selling a house and moving when you are pregnant and have a toddler. Just proves that life is one big roller coaster ride of thrills.
I got to host them all for a few sleepovers, which I loved. My grandson Asher kept saying, "Asher party slumber at Gita and Pappa's."
Home really is where your heart is. It was in their old house until their hearts left. Their new home -- just 3.4 miles from my house -- felt like home the moment Asher ran in and saw everything they owned unpacked.
He ran from room to room then shoutted with glee, "All my toys are here!"
June 20th, 2011 by Regina Brett
If fear seems to be your constant companion, fear not.
I love how so many important moments in the Bible start with those words: Fear not!
No matter how much faith I have, fear still seems to sneak into my daily life. My brain manufactures it. There are three shifts working overtime in my head pumping it out. As my friend Aaron says, "My brain is trying to kill me."
This morning while exercising I listened to Joyce Meyer talk about fear. My friend Suellen, who is Jewish, introduced me to Meyer. You don't have to be a Christian to soak up the wisdom and hope Meyer offers.
The topic of the show was fear. I expected Meyer to focus on faith and prayer. Instead, she said it's time to be bold. Instead of giving in to fear, be bold today. Act stronger, bolder, bigger.
So I'm going to practice living more boldly. Try it with me and let me know how it works for you.
Any time fear sneaks in, put on your bold. Fear is a question mark. Bold is an exclamation point. Let's start living like we're invincible. Because when it comes to a life of the spirit, we are.
June 10th, 2011 by Regina Brett
I get asked this question often by people diagnosed with cancer: When can you start calling yourself a survivor?
A reader named Nancy recently sent this email:
"I think I can consider myself a cancer survivor now. I started chemotherapy for Non-Hodgkins-Lymphoma in July 2010 and completed it in November.
"Hair is coming back but I looked at your picture and saw how great your hair looked and wondered about how long it takes to come back.
"I am reading "GOD NEVER BLINKS" and love all the lessons we can learn from it. I felt thankful to get through the chemo and continue to live a normal life. Most days I actually forget I am a survivor."
First, thanks, Nancy for sharing a bit of your story. It always takes courage to share with someone your cancer journey.
Second, you can call yourself a survivor the minute you hear that dreaded C word. I used to think you had to wait until the last chemo or radiation or til you had a full head of hair and no longer looked like a patient.
You are a survivor all along. From the moment you are diagnosed until they put you in the grave decades from now, when, hopefully, you die of old age after a joyful healthy life.
As for the hair, it took me six months to have enough to call it hair. I walked around boldly bald. Do what is comfortable for you. The main thing is, you are still here. After all you have been through, you are alive this bright, shining day. Live the hell out of it!
Me, I don't want to ever forget I'm a survivor. Every morning my scars remind me, in a wonderful way, that today is the day I am living in. Not tomorrow. Not yesterday. Just today, fully, and blissfully alive.
June 8th, 2011 by Regina Brett
A woman recently sent this email:
“My married life had many ups and downs but we made it through all of them and although things were far from perfect, they were manageable. After 26 years of marriage, my husband had an affair with a woman he worked with.
He spent a year and a half acting like nothing had happened. I was expected to be okay with them seeing each other and talking on the phone. He would not leave when I asked him, saying he had every right to our home as I did. Friends were telling me to stay put. We have a daughter, 22 and a son 16 and it was them who caught their father with this woman at our family cottage. It was devastating and still is.
It has been almost 2 years of the worse possible hell I have ever been through. I finally have to figure out who I am and what I want to do. I am ALWAYS looking out for others and have never done for myself.
I found your book and had it finished in a week. The lessons were wonderful, I could relate to many of them. I just want to say thank you for your words."
What would you tell her?
Here’s what I told her:
Ann Landers used to ask readers one question when it came to cheating spouses: Are you better off with him or without him? Only you can decide. No one else.
As for your children, the best thing you can give them is an example. Role model for them what it means to be a loving mother and wife and a strong woman who doesn't let people push her around. It could be the best thing for them to see you build up enough inner strength and financial strength to walk away from this marriage.
No one deserves to be mistreated, to be lied to or cheated on. Dr. Phil is fond of saying, "We train people how to treat us." How do you want to be treated? Start attracting that.
Claim your power and start using it to make your own life better, no matter what your husband does. Your first vow is to yourself, to love and cherish YOU all the days of your life.
June 7th, 2011 by Regina Brett
So I'm sitting outside an ice cream shop with my husband and friends when two girls plop down beside us. When they overhear me talking about my grandson, they bolt upright in their chairs.
How old are you? The one with long hair asks like it's a demand, not a question. She's all of 9. Her friend is 9 1/2. Correction, she explains that she actually turns 9 1/2 in July but she really wants to seem older.
"You can't be a gramma," they both tell me. "You're too young."
How old do you think I am? I ask.
"Twenty?" one says.
"You look really young," the other says.
When I tell them I'm 55 their eyes bug out. I find out their names are Serena and Morgan. Serena is a pistol. She demands to know my secret.
"What's your moisturizer?" she asks. "That must be it."
My moisturizer? How funny. We spend the next 15 minutes giggling like girls.
Whoever said youth is wasted on the young was never 9. Or 9 1/2.
June 3rd, 2011 by Regina Brett
That's what my sister-in-law Chris calls our shared age.
I turned 55 this week. I feel younger than ever, thanks to my 2-year-old grandson. Asher has introduced me to this brand new world he's discovering daily. The best birthday gift I got was his voice on my phone singing, "Happy birthday to Gita."
I love that he made up an original name for me. I was all set to be called Gramma and even encouraged it. Being a grandma doesn't make me feel old. It gives me new energy and reasons to stay in shape to keep up with him. But he wouldn't say Gramma. He came up with Gita, which means song. Maybe he picked it because I love to sing to him.
He loved helping me unwrap presents. He would tear a corner, then get all giggly and say, "What's inside? I don't know!" What fun. I felt like a kid again.
One of my favorite life lessons is The Best is Yet to Come. That keeps coming true every year. Each birthday I reflect on the blessings in my life, and each year there are more. With Asher, each day there are more.
Anyone who laments growing old should give it a try. It's actually quite freeing. The older I get, the more joy in my heart and the less I worry about the small stuff. Once you get to 55, you realize, it's all small stuff.