Day 19: The Center of Your Life

It’s easy to lose the center of your life.

To fall into the outer orbit. To find yourself in the dark outer reaches of Pluto instead of grounded safely on planet Earth.

I lost myself today, but found myself faster than usual. Making a conscious decision to mother myself for 100 days helped speed up the reclamation process.

It seemed that everyone needed a slice of me today and I quickly ran out of slices. My grandson, Asher, had Safety Town all week, which changed everyone’s schedule.

It was a great experience for him and I was glad to help do the driving and daycare pickup of his sister so his mom was free to drive him to class every day.

My own mother called a few times, wanting a slice of me. I looked at my calendar. Where could I squeeze her in? A friend called to take a walk. Another friend called to have dinner. Another friend keeps wondering when I will return her calls. 

I felt bombarded on the inside by guilt. How can I be there for everyone? Then I heard that small, still voice say: Be there for you. Get back in the center of your life. Live from the inside out.

Pausing to meditate helps. Just a brief pause to get re-centered, to re-member who you are and be a member of your own life. 

The triage of my life reminds me the order of care is: Me, my immediate family, my extended family, then my friends, then acquaintances. Once I got back in alignment, the day went down smooth as a milkshake.

A two-hour window opened up unexpectedly and I was able to bring my mom groceries and take her out for ice cream. All in a peaceful, calm, uncrazy way.

Once I made me a priority and put me back in the center of my own life, the clarity followed. That’s where the clarity comes, from the center.